The Past Is A Little Stranger
by QueenliestDeadThatEverDied
Summary: Hermione accidentally falls through time and ends up in the Marauder's era. Bizarreness ensues as she meets new/old friends and a new love....rated for language, sex, and mature themes in later chapters. HGSB
1. Hidden

"Damn it, Hermione! We've done it before, why won't you let me touch you anymore?" Ronald Weasly shouted furiously at his petrified girlfriend, Hermione Granger. Hermione was not the nerdy bookworm that she once was; she was now a voluptuous eighteen year old with lilywhite skin and long russet hair that she magically colored to be platinum blonde on the underside. She stood tall at 5'8 with a slender, athletic build, although she rarely exercised and detested running.

"Ronald, I don't feel right when I'm with you. I've told you before and I'll tell you one last time, I'm not going to sleep with you."

Ron towered over her, trying to force himself upon her. Hermione did the only thing she could think of; she punched him in the groin with all her might and hauled ass out of the Gryffindor common room. She was fast when she had to be. She caught the attention of many students as she ran past them, a blur of grey uniform. Hermione ran until she couldn't breathe anymore, and only then did she stop to observe her surroundings: she was deep in the cavernous dungeons of the school. Suddenly footsteps could be heard echoing from the stairwell above. Hermione jerked the nearest door open and stepped in, obviously frightened that Ron had followed her. She quickly snapped the door shut and leaned her back against it in relief.

'Shit, I barely dodged that fucker!' she thought to herself as she glanced around the room. It was a beautiful bedroom with a queen-sized four-poster bed, a deep purple bedspread, ivory carpet, and ornate silver stenciling on the onyx walls. Hermione was taken aback by the utter convenience of the stunning room which must have been a teacher's quarters years ago.

'This is perfect.' Hermione decided, not wanting to have to face Ron again that night. Hermione was exhausted from her escape, and the enormous bed was looking awfully comfortable.

'Well, what the professors don't know won't hurt them,' she resolved as she kicked off her heeled boots and slipped out of her uniform; she could sleep in her undergarments for the night and use a cleaning spell on her used clothes in the morning. Hermione drifted into a pleasant slumber, dreaming of a place where Ron could never find her.

_A/N: Okay, well that's chapter one! Hope you liked it…it'll get better I promise! Kisses for my beautiful readers! I've got a little game I'd like to play: the first person who can tell me who said this quote can name a character in this fic: "_If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being; you'd be a game show host."


	2. Watch It, Buddy!

Hermione awoke from the most restful slumber of her life. 'Well,' she thought, 'there is no way that Ron is still looking for me; I might as well go snag some breakfast before I go to class.' She was right; Ron wasn't looking for her anymore, and if he were he'd never find her.

Hermione crawled out of bed slowly, still savoring the last bit of warmth that clung to the silky sheets. "_Extergeo_," she muttered before she slipped back into her newly laundered and freshly pressed uniform. With a flick of her wand her hair was clean and smooth, cascading down to the center of her back in tightly spiraling curls. Another thirty seconds found Hermione looking radiant with her makeup brightly contrasting her fair-toned skin.

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'Curious, very curious,' Hermione thought as she made it up the last few steps to the Grand Entrance. 'Who on earth are all of these people? I haven't seen a single person I know all morning. Where are Harry and _Ron_?' she menaced as she thought of the latter. At that moment Hermione was knocked to the ground with an unusual amount of force.

"Hey, asshole, do you have eyes?" Hermione yelled, tired of idiots knocking her down and thinking nothing of it.

"Yeah..." a tall boy, probably a sixth or seventh year, muttered, embarrassed at being called out by a girl who was about a foot shorter than him.

"Well then I suggest you use them before you go traipsing around and shoving people to the ground! Ten points from Gryffindor!" Hermione screamed, utterly pissed that what had started off as such a pleasant morning was already going sour.

"Hey, lady, who the hell do you think you are? You can't just walk in here and start snatching points left and right!" the boy yelled back, now thoroughly peeved that a nosey girl who he'd never seen in his life was acting like the bloody Queen of Sheba!

"Who do I think I am, was that your question?" Hermione asked, slightly hurt, but mostly shocked that the boy didn't recognize the Head Girl when he saw her. "I'm Hermione Granger, the Head Girl."

The boy laughed. He laughed! 'How dare he laugh at me!?!" Hermione thought as she crossed her arms across her chest, clearly waiting for an explanation.

"Yeah, sure, good one!" He chuckled as he wiped a tear of laughter from his right eye. "Hate to break it to you, angel, but I know the Head Girl pretty well, and you sure as hell are not her."

"Are you drunk or on something, because I've been Head Girl for the past two months. Who do you _think_ is Head Girl?"

The tall boy sobered up and shot her a quizzical look as he said, "Lily Evans. What was your name, by the way? Hermione Glare?"

"It's Granger, you halfwit, and who the fuck are you?" Hermione snapped, utterly ticked by the infantile trick he must have been playing on her.

"My name is Remus Lupin," the boy said, reaching out to shake her hand.

Now it was Hermione's turn to laugh. "Yeah, right! I happen to know Remus Lupin, and he is a lot older, and a lot smarter than you. No, really, who are you?"

"I don't believe we've met previously, but then again, I've been wrong before."

"Alright, I'll prove that I know Remus," Hermione said cockily, knowing this kid was no match for her. "His favorite color is green, he hates spinach, he is allergic to gluten, and he's a werewo…." She was cut off when the boy's hand covered her mouth.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh!" the boy whispered urgently. "What the hell is going on? Are you crazy? That's not something I want getting around. How did you find out anyway? Did Sirius put you up to this, because if he did, I swear to Merlin, I will kill him!" He had proved himself.

"Holy shit, it is you. Remus, help me!" Hermione whispered.

A/N: Greetings All! Hope you are all enjoying my story! Kiss kiss! R&R


	3. She Loves You, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

"Remus, this is some serious shit we're dealing with. This girl, Hermione, knows all about us! What if she lets it slip that we're animagi? I mean she practically screamed that you're a werewolf to the _entire_ Grand Entrance," Peter Pettigrew squeaked to Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and James Potter. All three of them rolled their eyes at him; Peter was always a tad bit slow.

"No fucking shit, Wormtail," James snapped, sick of Peter constantly pointing out the obvious. "The point is we need to win her over, get her to keep quiet."

"I'm on it," Sirius said cockily as he headed for the exit of the seventh year Gryffindor boys' dorm, "or should I say on her?" Remus caught his arm and turned him back to face the other guys.

"Padfoot, she's not the type that'll just fall all over you. This one would whip you into shape."

"Oh!" Sirius exclaimed, raising his eyebrows suggestively, "Whips, kinky. I like her already." Hermione walked in at that moment hearing the tail end of the boys' conversation.

"I'm flattered, Sirius, but Remus is right; you couldn't handle me."

Sirius blushed, slightly embarrassed that she hear his pervy comment.

"So, which of you sexy gentlemen is going to take me to the Headmaster's office?" Hermione asked, hoping to go double or nothing on the man-blushing front.

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Ten minutes late James could be found escorting Hermione to Professor Dumbledore's office, where she would explain her predicament to the Professor himself. (The guys all (except Sirius) thought that it would be best if Sirius stayed behind so that he wouldn't jump Hermione in the middle of the hall.)

"So, you're from 2008, what's that like?" James asked, trying to make small talk.

"It's great. I'm Head Girl in my time, and I have the best friends…." Hermione paused, "_friend_ in the world."

"Oh, yeah? Is she hot?" James asked teasingly. Hermione began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Um, actually, _he's_ a guy. His name is Harry Po…." She trailed off, realizing who she was speaking to, "Harry, just Harry."

"Huh, Harry, cool name." Hermione smiled at this.

"Sooooooooooooooooo," James began, "Sirius wants to know if you think he's hot."

Hermione giggled a bit at the thought of Sirius Black finding her appealing. "Yeah, I guess he's attractive, you know, if you're in to the rugged, sexy, athletic, tall, dark, and handsome type…..which I guess I do……don't tell him though, okay?" Hermione was mortified. She had spilled her guts out to a total stranger; it's just that James was so much like Harry that it was difficult to differentiate.

James smiled, glad that his new friend felt comfortable enough with him to share that nugget of information.

They stopped in front of the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. James had just opened his mouth to say the password when the gargoyle leaped aside on its own. Hermione left James behind and quickly ascended the stairs. She stepped grace fully through the doorway, which had been left ajar.

"Hello, Sir. My name is Her….."

"Hermione Granger, welcome to Hogwarts, again I suppose," Dumbledore mused.

"You were expecting me, Sir?"

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Meanwhile, in the hallway below, James Potter waited for Hermione to finish her meeting with the Headmaster. He heard footsteps approaching at an alarming rate. Sirius Black's head appeared in thin air.

"So, does she like me?" He asked urgently, throwing off James' invisability cloak.

"She said you're a stone cold fox," James said sarcastically.

Sirius smiled dreamily. "Really?" He asked.

"No, not really, you dumbfuck."

_A/N: Greetings and Salutations my loves! Hope you're still loving my story. If you are, tell me about it; if you don't, tell me about it! I love all reviews, good or bad! Peace, love, and joy around the world! By the way, my winner from the first chapter never gave me a name, so I shall have another round of name the quote! (To my first winner, _Ejana_,you can still give me a name, I will just have two winners!) Please send your chosen name (for a mystery character) in your reply review. Here we go: "_We'll have to sleep on rollers til our scalps bleed. Then we'll have to get up at six every morning for the comb out. Your lungs will be lined with hairspray. Then you need all this equipment to push up the tits and blitz the zits and spray the pits! Then you stagger into class and you look perfect but you're exhausted, you're too tired to even think but that's okay the teachers they won't call on you anyway, also you don't want to be smarter than the boys. They don't like that, so to wake yourself up you drink some coffee at lunch but don't eat the food. You'll be a permanent diet!" _Please give me the movie and which character said it!_


	4. Time to Get the Girl! Or Not?

Hermione looked at Headmaster Dumbledore quizzically. 'How did he know I was coming? I didn't even know I was coming,' she thought.

"Do you not know how you arrived in this time, Miss Granger? I for one am shocked; you've read _Hogwarts: A History_ too many times to count, and yet you do not recall the Time Room?"

"Of course; how could I be so stupid? _The Time Room appears to those who are in dire need of an escape from the reality of their own lives; it sends the user into the past for a period of one year, at the end of which, he or she can decide if he or she wishes to return to his or her own time, or stay permanently,_" Hermione quoted verbatim.

"Very good; and you clearly needed to escape your struggle with Mister Weasly, didn't you?" Dumbledore's piercing eyes twinkled behind his half-moon glasses.

"How could you possibly know…." Hermione whispered.

"There are a great many things that I know about, and everything that happens in this school, present or future, until the day I die, is my responsibility. Now, I think that it is about time you got back to your new friends; I do believe Misters Potter and Black are waiting for you."

Hermione was shocked to be dismissed so quickly, but stumbled through the door and down the winding staircase to where, low and behold, James and Sirius were in fact waiting for her.

"Hey, baby," Sirius said, looking up at her from his seat on the floor, "wanna see what's hangin'?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, well, well. I didn't think I'd live to see the day when the infamous Sirius Black would quote a book, let alone a _muggle_ book. Never would have taken you for a Hinton fan."

"Damn, you really have read everything! And here I was hoping to dazzle you with my astonishing witticisms," Sirius replied

James stared at the two exchange banter for about five more minutes before he was sure they'd forgotten his presence entirely. Thankfully, at that moment, Lily Evans, the object of his affection, the apple of his eye, and the bane of his existence, turned the corner and was walking towards him and the two stooges. James automatically ruffled his hair and straitened his cloak. Hermione and Sirius paused when they saw him pulling himself together. They both understood that they _had_ to fix James and Lily up.

"Hermione, you're a girl; use your female powers to see if Lily's got the hots for our dear Jamesy," Sirius whispered.

Hermione punched him in the shoulder lightly. "I'm a girl, not a mind reader; I can't just telepathically ask her if she likes him….but I think she does, otherwise she wouldn't be applying lip gloss as she approaches him." Sirius looked up at Lily, and sure enough, she was swiping on a sparkling new coat of Kissy Fresh Glimmer Gloss as she marched towards them.

"Oh, Merlin!" James exclaimed, "Sirius, what do I do? She's coming." James was on the verge of a panic attack. 'Oh, sure tough guy, you can fly straight down at breakneck speed, but you can't talk to a girl; some Gryffindor you are, more like Cowardly Lion!' James thought to himself. 'It's okay, you can do this,' he told himself.

"Hey Lily," Sirius called, waving his arm like an idiot.

Lily waved back less dramatically. James froze.

She was twenty feet away,

Then seventeen,

Then twelve,

Then eight,

Then she was standing directly in front of James with her arms crossed and her right foot tapping. "James Potter, you ought to be ashamed of yourself," she began angrily, "how dare you teach a first year how to conjure dung bombs? You call yourself a seventh year? You might as well be nine years old from the way you've behaved."

James was stunned. 'Shit, how can someone so sexy be so vicious?' he asked himself. The pattern on the carpet suddenly became fascinating.

Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend, 'I swear,' he thought, 'how this boy will ever get a date without my help is beyond me.' With a few choice flicks of his wand the swirling design on the carpet began to form words before James' eyes.

"_Be cool, you buffoon! You look like a statue!"_

James blinked several times to be sure his vision wasn't failing him.

"_Tell her she looks pretty and that you like her new hair cut. Sell yourself, man!"_

"You look really pretty today, Lily. Did you get your hair cut?" James smiled as attractively as he could.

"Listen, you jerk….." she trailed off. "What did you just say?"

"I said you look pretty and I like your haircut," James whispered, slightly embarrassed that he was taking advice from the upholstery.

"Thanks, I guess…..what are you playing at, Potter?"

"I'm not playing at anything! I just told you that you're pretty and you got all pissed off at me. What are you gong to do when some bloke asks you to marry him, stab him in the heart?" James yelled. 'Fuck, she's infuriating!' he thought.

"You're right, Potter. I'm sorry," Lily mumbled, barely audible.

"And another thing, where do you get off…..wait, repeat that."

"I said you're right. I shouldn't have questioned your motives." Lily was wondering what she was saying even as the words left her mouth.

"_You're doing good, now reel her in!"_

Hermione elbowed Sirius in the gut. She flicked her own wand.

"_James, it's Hermione; remember, she's a person, not a fish."_

James was confused, but decided to follow Sirius' advice, after all, he'd picked up a few more chicks than Hermione had.

"So," James began, "do you want to go make out?"

Hermione and Sirius both mentally slapped him. Lily, on the other hand, _physically_ slapped him. With a loud _SNAP_ James was nearly slammed into the wall behind him.

"You perv! I knew you were up to something!" Lily shrieked before storming away, her black cloak swirling behind her.

"Good going, numbnuts." Sirius said as he flopped his arm around his distraught friend's shoulder.

_A/N: Yay for new chapters! Please, please, please review! I love all of your pretty comments. Merry Halloween!_


	5. Genius Plans and Eating Disorders

Hermione followed an irate Lily Evans down the Grand Staircase. Lily had reached the Great Hall at an alarming speed before Hermione caught up with her.

"Lily, wait!" Hermione yelled. Lily froze, unaware that she was being chased by her new room mate.

"Did Potter get you to come and talk him up to me? I noticed you and Sirius were pretty cozy." Hermione laughed.

"Me and Sirius? Surely you jest! We're just friends (cliché!), and anyway, we only met this morning." Hermione had lied, but how could she tell Lily that Sirius was an old friend without telling her everything?

"So you aren't here for James?"

"Fuck no! I came to see if you were okay; you seemed a little irritated when you left."

Lily laughed. "Oh, well I just came down to see if my friends Verena and Veronica were at lunch yet…I doubt they are."

"Why do you say that?" Hermione asked as they approached the Gryffindor table. She followed Lily to a seat at the far end where two sickly thin girls were sitting. Hermione now knew why she hadn't expected them to be at lunch.

Lily smiled at her friends as she and Hermione took the seats across from them. "Hello, Bulimia, hello, Anorexia!" she greeted happily. The two girls, whom Hermione had now dubbed as twins, glared at Lily for her comment then simultaneously turned to look at Hermione.

"Hey, New Girl, I'm Verena Chase, and this is my sister, Veronica. What brings you here to our humble hall of learning?" she asked, holding out her boney hand to Hermione. Hermione shook her hand _very_ carefully as not to break her. Verena raked her fingers through her long red mane which reached the middle of her back. The only visible difference between Verena and Veronica was their hair; Verena's was a shocking shade of fire-engine-red and Veronica's was so blonde that it was nearly white. Quite frankly, Hermione thought they both looked like prostitutes.

"I just transferred here from Beauxbaton's. I started the year late because my mum was really sick and needed me to take care of her." Hermione had lied again. 'I've got to stop lying, I'm getting too good at it,' she thought.

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Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room, James Potter was sulking. Sirius had tried everything short of a hooker (which Remus talked him out of) to cheer up his best friend.

"It's no use, Sirius; there is nothing you can do. All I want in the whole world is Lily, and she hates me." James whispered, too depressed to raise his voice.

"Well, of course she does; who would want to be with a guy who thinks like that? What do we do, Jamesy, when we fall off a broom?" Sirius asked.

"We light the damn thing on fire?"

"Shit, you really are depressed; no, we get back on. I just happen to have a foolproof plan to get you any girl in school."

"It'd have to be foolproof if an idiot like you came up with it. Anyway, I don't want just any girl, I want Lily Evans, _the only _girl."

"Spare me the lovesick puppy routine and just hear me out. What you need to do is apologize, plead, beg for her forgiveness; then, when she finally gives up her stupid grudge, you will become her best friend." The common room door shut quietly and Hermione slipped in undetected.

"What? I don't want to be her _best_ friend; I want to be her _boyfriend_," James said.

"I'm getting there. When she feels comfortable enough with you, you tell her what you want." Sirius was vey proud of his ingenious plan.

"That's disgusting, Sirius. How dare you tell him that chauvinistic shit?" Hermione shouted, startling both James and Sirius to the point of hyperventilation.

Sirius quickly straitened himself up. "Fuck, Baby, are you trying to kill me?" he asked suavely…but not suavely enough……

"Don't you 'Baby' me, you little hornball! I heard your little plot, and it's idiotic; James will never get Lily that way. Hell, he'll never a parakeet that way!"

"Okay, fine, you don't believe in my plan, but it works and I'll prove it."

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Christmas Holiday came and went. The second semester was to begin in two days, but meanwhile, all students were free from classes. James had been chipping away at Lily for a month and was finally starting to make some headway. She had actually started talking to him! He was thrilled. Hermione hated Sirius for being right, but he was one of the _best friends_ she had made on her little _ahem_ trip.

_A/N: Hello! Sorry I havn't posted in a few days, I was at a friends house. As always, kisses! Review(or else!)._


	6. Her Eggo Is Preggo

"Hey, Her-my-oh-my-ne!" Sirius teased energetically, slinging his arm around her shoulders. "So, I was thinking, since you're completely in love with me, that you might like to accompany my ravishingly sexy self to Hogsmead tonight?"

"Like, am I that transparent?" Hermione joked back. They were standing in the middle of the Gryffindor seventh year boys' bathroom, where Hermione had come to use the mirror. Verena and Veronica had locked themselves in the ladies room so, Hermione assumed, that their puking would not be disturbed. Hermione continued changing her hair color from brown, which suddenly bored her to death, to violent red.

"Great, so then I'll pick you up at eight?"

"What? I was kidding, I'm not going anywhere at eight," Hermione laughed nervously. Suddenly, Sirius had been asking her out nonstop and constantly hitting on her. Hermione refused to let herself get involved with him, because after all, she would be leaving in a few months to go back to her own time. Four months without Harry to talk to had been torture, even with James there it wasn't the same; a lifetime without him would kill her.

"Alright, I understand, ma cherie, you can't wait until eight. I get you at seven!"

"I can wait until eight!" Hermione exclaimed, not realizing that she had just agreed to a date with the guy she'd been avoiding for months.

"Fine, eight it is," Sirius smiled as he walked out, leaving Hermione to color her hair in peace.

"Fuck," Hermione muttered under her breath.

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At seven o'clock Hermione began to prepare; she'd never been so nervous in her life. 'It's only Sirius,' she kept telling herself, but she knew in her heart that she was only scared because she really liked him. She tried on five outfits before she decided on a metallic grey spaghetti strapped mini dress that reached midthigh and showed of just a tad bit of cleavage. 'Why not make him nervous too?' Hermione thought, 'after all, misery loves company.'

With a sharp jab of her wand, her hair and makeup were finished. It was five to eight, and Hermione was wringing her hands and biting her bottom lip. There was a knock on the portrait hole of the common room. Hermione laughed when she saw Sirius Black kneeling on the other side, thrusting a bouquet of deep-plum roses at her.

"I'm sorry I tricked you, Hermione, but it was the only way I could think of to get you to go out with me." Sirius looked up to see Hermione grinning like an idiot at him.

She pulled him up by his tie, which matched the flowers perfectly, and kissed him square on the lips. Sirius was surprised to say the least, but quickly reacted by sweeping Hermione off her feet (quite literally, he scooped her up bridal style) and carried her to the seventh floor. Hermione broke the kiss when she realized exactly where Sirius had taken her. They were now standing outside the Room of Requirement. Hermione smiled; she had had a bit of a crush on Sirius in her past, and now she would finally get what she'd wanted the whole time she was in the past.

Sirius set her carefully back on her feet and began to pace. Hermione smiled again, "Sirius, stop."

He was taken aback, but quit pacing. Sirius frowned, visibly ashamed of himself.

Hermione saw this and took his hand, "It's okay," she said, "I want it too; I just wasn't sure of what you were going to make the room. Let me."

Hermione began to pace in front of the blank wall. Slowly a large door began to materialize. She grabbed Sirius' hand and led him into the room.

Sirius was shocked. They had entered a room which looked identical to his own bedroom, back home on _Grimmauld _Place; each poster was exactly the same and in the same place. "Hermione, how…."

"Did I ever mention that I kind of know you?" Hermione cut in. "In the future, I mean..... in my time." She couldn't bear to wait for his response, so she kissed him again, this time with more passion and need. Hermione led Sirius over to the bed and pulled him down on top of her.

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A few weeks went by and there was one place you could be sure to find Hermione: the bathroom. Rumors were scattered around the school that the Chase twins were rubbing off on her, but her best friend (in that particular generation), James Potter, knew otherwise.

"Hermione, you have to tell him; he deserves to know," James argued as he handed her a towel to wipe her mouth with.

"I don't know what you're talking about, James," Hermione replied, trying to hide her face behind her wavy hair that now was navy blue.

"Hermione, you're pregnant and we both know it!" James yelled.

Hermione began to cry, "I know! I don't know how to tell Sirius….I can't tell him."

"Why?"

"I'm going home, James. I'm going back to my time, and I'm taking my baby with me." Hermione began to sob.

_A/N: I'm sososososososo sorry that I havn't updated in a long time, but I've been mega busy with school lately, not that that's any excuse. Anyway, I would like to point out that Hermione arrived in the past after a few months of school in her own time. That said, this chapter takes place in March, so the year is coming to a close soon. Love and Kisses and a multitude of Reviews would be much appreciated!_


	7. I Want You To Hate Me As Much As You Can

Hermione awoke on May 8th with a start. She'd been having terrible nightmares in which she relived Sirius' death in the Department of Mysteries again and again. 'Fuck, these dreams are getting worse by the day,' Hermione thought as she leaped out of bed and ran into the bathroom (which for once wasn't occupied by a Chase). 'Maybe James is right; Sirius has the right to know that he's going to be a father…' Hermione's thoughts trailed off when she felt someone hold her hair away from her face as she vomited.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked, wiping her mouth on the wash cloth that Sirius was holding out for her.

"James told me that…"

"James told you? Oh, I am going to kill that fucker! He knew that I didn't want you to know that I'm pregnant," a hysterical Hermione shouted in a fit of hormonal rage.

Sirius froze. "You're pregnant?"

Hermione froze. "What did James tell you?"

"You're _pregnant_?" Sirius whispered in disbelief. "You're pregnant and you didn't tell me. Why?"

Hermione began to cry. "I couldn't tell you."

"Couldn't or wouldn't?" Sirius spat as he stomped out of the bathroom, leaving Hermione sitting on the floor sobbing.

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Later that morning, Sirius could be found brooding on the quidditch pitch. He flew a few hundred meters in the air and floated there for an hour before James found him. James Potter, the only quidditch player in the school who could overtake Sirius on a broom, flew strait up to where his friend sulked.

"Sirius Black, what the fuck is the matter with you? Hermione tells you that she's pregnant and you run off; are you unstable or something?" James smacked Sirius upside the head.

"Why didn't she tell me first?" James looked his best friend in the eyes and realized that he was crying.

"Sirius, she was scared."

"Of me? Why would she be afraid to tell me?" Sirius wept. James slung an arm around his shoulders.

"It's not my place to say; you have to talk to her."

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"Hermione, I'm sorry," Sirius repeated.

Hermione had been ignoring him for three weeks, and her belly was beginning to show. Rumors about the father were buzzing around the school like hummingbirds; some less than creative ideas such as virgin birth and a child sired by the devil were floating around.

"Please, Hermione talk to me. Why didn't you tell me when you found out?" Sirius was chasing her down the Grand Staircase toward the Great Hall, to which Hermione was making a mad dash. Suddenly she stopped.

"You want to know why I didn't tell you?"

"Yes," was all Sirius could manage. Hermione hadn't spoken to him since he stepped out of the bathroom.

"I didn't tell you because I wanted you to hate me. I wanted you to want me to stay away from you forever."

"Hermione, I could never hate you. I want you with me always."

"Don't you ever say that," Hermione sobbed. "I'm going home Sirius, to my own time. And I'm taking the baby with me."

"No."

"No?"

"No! You can't leave," Sirius shouted.

"Why? I don't belong here; I belong in my own time. I miss my friends and family."

"You can't leave because I love you," Sirius yelled.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going home, and I'm taking her with me."

"It's a girl?" Sirius began to cry. "You can't take her away from me….I'll….I'll go with you….or I'll…."

"Sirius, you don't belong there. They need you here."

"Then I'll wait for you. I love you too much to let you leave me alone."

"You can't!" Hermione shouted through her tears. Her dreams had gotten worse over the past week and all she saw when she closed her eyes was Sirius being thrown through the veil. He had been protecting her, and now she knew why. "I can't ask that of you; you just can't."

"Why, Hermione? Why can't I have you? What aren't you telling me?"

"You're dead, okay? You died when I was fifteen. You died trying to save me." Hermione broke down in the middle of the Grand Entrance.

"What?"

"I'm leaving this afternoon. Please do me a favor: stay away from Bellatrix….and don't trust Peter." Hermione sprinted (as fast as a woman three months pregnant could) to Dumbledore's office.

"Professor, I want to go home," Hermione announced as she skid to a stop at the door to his office/private quarters.

"Very well, Miss Granger, simply go to sleep again tonight in the room that brought you here."

_A/N: Hello loves! Hope you enjoyed my evil cliff hanger; I sure did! As always, I'm begging for reviews. Love and Kisses!_


	8. She's Having a Baby, Baby!

Hermione awoke to a sharp bang on her door. She looked around, completely disoriented. 'Where the fuck am I?' she thought as she rolled out of bed, emphasis on the roll. Her belly was now quite noticeable; she was eight months pregnant and completely freaked out about it, as most first time mothers to be are. Then it hit her, she was in the Time Room; that meant that she was back! 'Oh shit! How am I going to explain my absence and my obesity to Harry?'

"Hermione, open up!" a familiar voice called from the other side of the door.

"It can't be," Hermione whispered. She waddled across the room to the door and flung it open carelessly. Her eyes welled with tears when she saw Harry and a much older Sirius standing on the other side grinning like idiots. "Sirius!" she squealed with excitement as she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her for a kiss. "But how….you were dead."

"I told you I would wait for you, Love."

"That's not possible; I saw you! Bellatrix knocked you through the veil!" Hermione was in hysterics. She was so happy to see Sirius alive, but she couldn't help but question it.

"Bellatrix Lestrange?" Harry asked.

"Yes, of course Bellatrix Lestrange. You were there, Harry; how could you forget?" Hermione was befuddled. Sirius' death was the most horrific moment in Harry's life.

"Hermione, Bellatrix Lestrange died when we were children. Neville's parents killed her during the war against Voldemort," Harry informed her, confused to why this was thrilling news for Hermione.

"Darling, it's nothing but a bad dream now. You don't have to worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm never leaving the two most important ladies in my life," Sirius said as he gently stroked Hermione's belly through her thin nightshirt.

"Holy shit, Hermione, when did you get pregnant?" Harry yelled with surprise. With all the confusion over Sirius, Harry hadn't notice his best friend's enormous stomach.

"About thirty-two years ago." Hermione and Sirius laughed at Harry's stunned face. "We'll explain later," Hermione said as she walked back into the room, "but right now I need to get dressed before I'm late for class."

Harry and Sirius both looked confused by her statement. "Hermione, we're going home today," Harry said.

"But what about Graduation and the End of the Year Ball?"

"Are you feeling alright, Love?" Sirius asked as Hermione began to change (it's not like either of the guys hadn't seen her in her underwear before). "The ball was last night; you wore a stunning royal blue gown that had every male and a few females as well drooling over you."

"Sure, cause every guy goes crazy for a pregnant eighteen year old," Hermione whispered. Her extra sensitive hormones were kicking in. "Why don't I remember?"

"Baby, it's time to go. We can talk about this when we arrive at James and Lily's house." Hermione's tears evaporated instantly upon hearing this.

"They're alive!" She shrieked enthusiastically.

"Of course they are; what did you think?" Harry asked, a bit shocked because Hermione was like the daughter that his parents never had.

"Oi, I'm beginning to think that my fiancée is a bit of a nutcase, eh Harry?" Sirius joked. Hermione froze.

"Fiancée?" Hermione asked. She looked at her hand only to discover a large pink diamond with a smaller white diamond on either side set in white gold glistening back at her. "Oh," she whispered sadly. She was in tears once again. 'How could I not remember Sirius proposing to me?' she thought as she wiped away thousands of tears.

"You don't remember, do you Love?" Sirius asked, taking her hand in his and slipping the gorgeous ring off her finger. He lowered himself to the ground, still holding her hand, and gazed lovingly into her eyes. "Hermione, I've loved since before you were born, and I will love you until the day I die. Will you marry me?"

"What kind of question is that?" Hermione smiled through her tears. "Of course I'll marry you." She helped Sirius to his feet again and then kissed him softly on the mouth.

"I love you, Hermione."

"I love you too, Sirius."

"I fell awkward, you guys," Harry said. It was obvious that his godfather and best friend had forgotten that he was present.

"Well the get out you little perv," Hermione teased. Sirius took Hermione's luggage in one hand and held her around the waist with the other. The three of them began the long trek up the spiraling staircase. About half way up Hermione stopped.

"What's the matter, Love? You're going to miss the train," Sirius said as he set Hermione's suitcase down on the step. Hermione collapsed into his arms with a violent shutter and bloodcurdling scream.

"Shit!" Harry bellowed as he stepped towards his friend.

"What the fuck is wrong with her?" Sirius asked, terrified that he'd done something that hurt her.

"Sirius, I think she just went into labor."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I'm standing in a puddle that wasn't here ten seconds ago."

_A/N: Dun, dun, dun! I'm begging fo your reviews! Kisskiss!_


	9. Be My Valentine

Hermione awoke, once again, to a sharp bang on her door. However, this time she made on effort to move. The door sprang open and several doctors followed closely by Sirius Black entered all dressed in tangerine colored scrubs. Hermione was suddenly writhing in pain.

"The contractions are occurring at two minute intervals!" the doctor to her right said calmly but loudly.

"She's fully dilated," another doctor stated.

The pain subsided and Hermione began to breathe heavily.

", it's time for you to push now," a nurse told her gently.

"What about the drugs?" Hermione begged, desperate to be relieved of the pain.

"We…we tried, but your body was not susceptible to the spinal block." The nurse looked terrified, probably due to the fact that Hermione was squeezing her arm in a vice-like grip.

"Hermione, my love, please let the nice woman get back to her job. You can hold my hand instead." Sirius received a grateful glance from the nurse as Hermione transferred her death grip to her fiancé's arm.

"Sirius," Hermione began, "they called me Mrs.…….AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hermione trailed off into another contraction. "SIRIUS BLACK I HATE YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Sirius was horror stricken.

"Don't worry, Sir," one of the doctors said, "they always say that."

########################################################################

Harry was there at the hospital too. He was given the task of informing everyone that Hermione was having the baby. He knelt in front of one of the many fireplaces lined up in the maternity ward of 's checking friends and family of both Sirius and Hermione off his list. "The Weaslys, check, The Grangers, check, Lupin, check….who's next?" Harry thought aloud. _Lily and James Potter_. Harry took a handful of floo powder and threw it into the flames.

"Hello?" Lily asked as she peeked through the grate of her fireplace.

"Hi, mum," Harry greeted.

"Harry, darling, how's everything going?" she asked as she leaned back away from the fire. "James, Harry's in the fireplace!" she yelled to her husband who was in the kitchen making a sandwich.

"Mum, this is urgent. Hermione's in labor. She's having a baby....right now."

"Finally! We'll be there in a minute." Lily said, pulling her head out of the fireplace.

########################################################################

After three hours of sleep, Hermione woke up to find herself surrounded with her and Sirius' friends and family. Sirius was sitting on the edge of her bed grinning like and idiot.

"Where is she?" Hermione asked immediately.

"I'll have the nurse bring her in," said softly. Hermione nodded and smiled tiredly. The nurse came in carrying a tiny pink blanket wrapped around the most beautiful baby girl that Hermione had ever seen. Her eyes were deep green like sea glass and her hair was black in wispy curls.

"She's mine," Hermione said softly and then kissed her daughter's forehead lightly. "You're mine."

"What should we call her, Love?" Sirius asked, never taking his eyes off his baby.

"Valentine. Valentine Nefertiri Black ."

_A/N: Hope you liked it! Kisses to all my lovely readers!_


	10. Epilogue

Seventeen years later….

"Max, leave me alone!" Valentine Black shouted to her ex-boyfriend, Maxwell Weasly.

"Teeny, why won't you just forgive me?" Max asked as he followed her down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.

"I hate you, that's why!"

"Fine, then never speak to me again, you little bitch!" Valentine had had enough; she kicked him in the crotch. He keeled over from the pain and she kneed him in the nose. Teeny ran as far away from him as she could. She raced down the stairs and into the dungeons where she found only one open door behind which to hide. Valentine found herself in a beautiful bedroom.

########################################################################

Valentine woke up the next morning with a start. She crawled over to the side of the bed and looked at the clock: 9:34. 'Oh, shit!' she thought as she jerked on her grey uniform skirt. She ran up the stairs and proceeded to plow right into a very tall boy who looked strikingly familiar.

"Hey, sorry, Jakk," Valentine apologized, reaching out a hand to help her best friend, Jakk Potter off the floor.

"Umm, not that I'm not grateful, but who are you?"

Valentine was shocked. "Valentine, Valentine Black. Why are you being such an ass, Jakson Potter?"

"My name's not Jak, it's Harry…" the tall boy said awkwardly.

"Repeat that."

The End.


End file.
